Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Those Better Not Be Magic Jumping Beans...

I got a call today from my neighbor Michelle. She's got daughters that are Maura's age.

Michelle: So. Maura told Julie that Roger brought home a mystical magic special medicine that made her cold go away. I just had to call and ask.

Me: Vick's VapoRub

Michelle (chuckling): Yep...That makes sense.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Holy Communion

Maura: Can we sit closer to the front next week?

Me: Why?

Maura: When I was trying to drink the wine it was almost gone. So I just pretended to drink, but I didn't really drink. If we were closer to the front, there would be more wine.

Me: You just have to tip the goblet back a little further.

Maura: But I'm afraid that if I drink all of the blood of Christ they'll be mad at me for not sharing Jesus.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Bring your wand...Expectations are high

On being told that mommy's friend April was coming to visit...

Schatz: Does April have kids?

Me: No.

Schatz: Does she have cats?

Me: Yes, but she's not bringing the cats.

Schatz: Who is April again?

Me: She's my friend, but she's also your godmother.

Schatz (eyes get really big): She's my FAIRY GODMOTHER!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Down Payment

We have a candy jar on the kitchen counter. When the kids are being naughty, sassy, rude, or break a house rule they have to put a piece of their Halloween candy in the jar. They don't get yelled at. They don't get grounded. They just have to pay up. It's working (sort of). Now I just shoot one of the kids a hard look and she cleans up her act...well, most of the time. This morning while packing her lunchbox...

Me: Toss a few pieces of candy in, too.

Maura (pauses): In my lunchbox or in the jar?

Me: Your lunch box.

Maura tosses some candy in her lunchbox then puts a few more pieces in the jar.

Me: Why did you do that? You didn't do anything wrong.

Maura (without even a hint of sarcasm): You can't watch me all the time. That's for what you don't catch me doing today.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Cat Callin'

Schatz had a great time trick or treating last night, but soon she asked to go home to hand out candy. She was really excited and couldn't hardly wait for kids to knock on the door so she asked if we could sit of the front step. Soon that wasn't enough either.

Schatz (standing at the end of our walk calling to kids down the street): Came get some candy. Who wants some of my delicious Halloween candy? YOU-WHO!! Come and get your candy!!!

At one point she was doing a little dance and singing a song about her bucket of candy. Holidays are so much more fun after you have kids!