Oozing Charm

When we go on base to the grocery store, Schatz likes to be in charge of showing the gate guard my ID card. It's her special job and the guards humor her. Today was especially charming.

Guard (looking at ID card): This doesn't look like you.

Schatz (giggles): Yes.

Guard: Do you get to be in charge of the ID card?

Schatz (shyly): Yes.

Guard: Well, you are doing a great job.

Schatz (smiles at him and shots him the finger guns): Thanks.

Guard laughs and gives her the ID card.

Schatz (yelling out the window as we pull away from the gate): Merry Christmas!!

Playing Doctor

Maura has contracted a rare illness that plagues many third grade classrooms. The symptoms are a non-febrile headache or stomach ache that present only on weekdays no later than 7am, but clear up by 9:30. The school nurse is no help. At the first complaint of stomach ache or headache she calls me to come pick up my child. This morning is the first morning that I've decided to play hardball.

Maura: I don't feel good.

Me (feeling her forehead): What hurts, honey?

Maura: My head and my stomach and my throat.

Me: Let's take your temperature.

Maura: Can I stay home from school?

Me: If your temperature is over 100 then you can stay home from school.

I pop the thermometer in her mouth and go back to my room to make my bed. After a few minutes the thermometer beeps.

Me (from the bedroom): What does it say?

Maura: 186! I can't go to school.

I walk back into the bathroom and turn the digital thermometer around.

Me: 98.1 Sorry, Maura, you are going to school today.

Maura: But that's practically 100!

A "Let Them Eat Cake" Moment...

A package came in the mail today from Cousin Bob. It was games for the family and we are all very excited.

Kaitlyn (getting more and more excited): Oh, OH, OH!!!!

Mommy: Cousin Bob sent you that.

Kaitlyn: Why?

Mommy: Because he likes you. Were you friends with Bob when he came to visit?

Kaitlyn: Oh, yes, Mommy. I was very kind to Bob. I let him read my books.


(Now, dear reader, she says she let Bob read her books, but really he was reading her books TO HER at her request!!)