Thursday, January 27, 2011

In The Eye Of The Beholder

Getting ready to go to dinner last night, I put Schatz's hair in pigtails and had just put in the last butterfly clip.

Mom: All done. You look beautiful.

Schatz: Not yet. (Wipes her nose with her handkerchief. Turns her head to the left and right to examine her pigtails.) Perfect. Now I'm beautiful.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Lectures and Ultimatums

As overheard from the other room:

Schatz, age 3 (to Maura, age 8): And I will let you play with my toy. And if you don't share nicely Schatz is going to take it back to the store. And then you can't play with me.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Getting ready for her afternoon siesta...

Schatz (whining): I can't wear my panties, I want a Pull-Up.

Mom: You don't need a Pull-Up for your siesta. You are a big girl.

Schatz (still whining): But I'm going to get my panites wet. I NEED a Pull-Up.

Mom (losing this battle) goes into the bedroom and brings back a pull-up.

Schatz (indignantly): You LIED to me!!

Mom: I didn't lie to you.

Schatz (like she's explaining the situation to a small child): You said no Pull-Up and now you are giving me a Pull-Up.

Mom: I changed my mind. I'm not going to fight with you. If you want a Pull-up you may have a Pull-Up. Do you want the Pull-Up?

Schatz (stamping her foot): You lied!

Mom (sighing): Do you want to wear panties or a Pull-Up.

Schatz chose the Pull-Up...As she was climbing into her bed.

Schatz (indignantly and under her breath): You LIED to me.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Covering Her Bases

Mom: Schatz, I've got a job for you.

Schatz: What, Mommy?

Mom: Will you take this baby and put her in your toy box?

Schatz takes the baby. Leaves the room and returns much too quickly.

Mom: Did you put the baby in the toy box?

Schatz nods her head yes.

Mom: Are you lying to me?

Schatz pauses, and then shakes her head no.

Mom: Kaitlyn, Mommy can tell when you are telling a lie.

Schatz (eyes get big): What did you say, Mommy?

Mom: Your nose gets a little bigger when you lie to Mommy. Now. Did you put the baby in your toy box?

Schatz (covering her nose with her hand): Yes, Mommy, I did.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Hasbro's Taboo...but with lunch

Schatz: Where are you going?

Mom: I'm going to wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen.

Schatz: And fix me lunch?

Mom: What would you like for lunch?

Schatz (Looking at the ceiling): Ummmmmm....

Mom: Would you like a sandwich?

Schatz: No sammich. Cheese!

Mom: Okay. Cheese. What else would you like for your lunch?

Schatz (looking at the ceiling): Ummmmmm...That thing that Daddy eats, with cheese, but like a taco...not a taco.

Mom: A Quesadilla?

Scatz: Yes, and milk.

Mom (walking downstairs): Okay.

Schatz (shouting from her room): Don't forget the milk!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Let's Tidy up the Nursery (and other Disney references)

Mom: Let's go pick up your toys.

Schatz pouts, but follows me to her bedroom.

Mom: Could you put these in the dirty clothes hamper?

Schatz puts dirty clothes in hamper.

Mom: Will you put this baby in the toybox?

Scatz puts baby in toybox.

Mom: Please put this pillow on the bed.

Schatz (hands on hips): You know, Mom, I'm not your Cinderella.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

The Concept of Privacy

I was taking a shower today when Schatz waltzed into the bathroom leaving the door wide open (hello, cold winter air), pulled back the curtain and proceeded to tell me about the conversation she was having with Lucy. Then she climbed on the back of the toilet and opened the window to look out...still chattering about something or another. Finally, she settled onto the potty for her morning constitution.

I stepped out of the shower, past the open window (hello, neighbors!) to reach for my towel. As I stepped out of the bathroom to towel off and get dressed; Schatz tells me, "Could you shut the door? I need my privacy."

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Lost in Translation

Schatz has developed a new definition for the word rough. It means: to bark.

As in: Lucy is roughing at the door. Can I let her in?

Or (talking to Lucy): What are you roughing at?

Monday, January 3, 2011

These Kids Were Raised in the Same House!

Snuggling on the couch.

Maura: This was the best Christmas ever.

Mom: Oh, yeah? How come?

Maura: We were together as a family. You know, Mom, Christmas isn't about presents. It's about being together with your family.

Later that night, getting ready for bed.

Schatz: That was the best Christmas ever.

Mom: Oh, yeah? How come?

Schatz: Because I wasn't on the naughty list and Santa brought me lots of presents. And we ate candy.