The Theology of a Four Year Old

Maura: Do you know what I love about Jesus?

Me: What do you love about Jesus?

Maura: Well, Mom, Jesus loves you. He loves you when you are naughty and making a lot of mistakes. He also loves you when you are nice.

Kaitlyn: Mom, is Jesus related to Santa Claus?

Entrapment

Roger had surgery last month. He's not allowed to lift anything heavier than 30 pounds for 30 days. To keep the kids from asking to be picked up, I explained that it was their job to tattle on their daddy if they caught him lifting anything heavy. It's working, but I just realized this morning that Schatz is setting him up...

Roger was helping Schatz brush her teeth. She was standing on the toilet so she could reach the sink. After they were finished:

Schatz (sweetly with arms out): I love you, Daddy. You're the best.

Roger pulls her up in a hug.

Roger: Aww...that's really sweet, Katie.

Schatz (while hugging Daddy, legs wrapped around his waist, she makes eye-contact with me): Bu-u-usted, Daddy.

A New Superhero Emerges

Schatz was helping us hang birthday decorations.

Dad: Can I have another piece of tape?

Mom: Yeah, just a second.

Schatz snatches the tape.

Schatz: I'll do it...because I'm (in an announcer's voice) TAPE-GIRL.

While Counting Princesses

Chilren rarely misquote you, they will repeat exactly what you said when you least expect it...


Schatz: One....Twooooo....Threeeeee (is momentarily distracted by the television)

Me: What comes after three?

Schatz (distracted and still watching the television): A spanking.