Saturday, December 22, 2012

Christmas in the Summer

Schatz burst into spontaneous song this morning.
(sung to the tune of "Santa Clause is Coming to Town")

Schatz: •*¨*•♫♪You better not better not cry♪♫•*¨*•
             •*¨*•♫♪You better not whine....I'm telling you why♪♫•*¨*•
                 •*¨*•♫♪Mommy's going to put up the pool♪♫•*¨*•

Friday, December 21, 2012

Some Doubts and Some Fast Talk

At the Christmas Party...

Schatz:  I don't think that was Santa Claus.

Me: Why is that?

Schatz:  He didn't have a sleigh.  We followed him outside and there was no sleigh on the roof.

Me (stalling):  Were there any reindeer?

Schatz:  No.  How is that Santa if he didn't have any reindeer?

Me:  Well.  It's awfully hot in Australia. No he can't really bring his sleigh.  They only work in the snow.  Sweetie.  Santa used a ute* in Australia.  Was there a ute out there?

Schatz (eyes brightening): Yes!  There WAS a ute!

*Ute is Australian for truck.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

It's a Griswold Christmas!

We took the girls out to see the Christmas lights last night.  We slowed down at this house and I heard a little voice from the back seat...

Schatz (softly; reverently):  Ho-ly crap!

Then her daddy started snickering.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

When You Take A Kid Down Under

We were fighting summer boredom this morning doing "homework".

Me: Why do the ants have yellow butts?

Schatz:  They are honey ants.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Early Math Skills

Isabelle: Mom? Can I have one more (mini) muffin? 

Isabelle's Mom:  Just one more.

Schatz (whispering):  You can have lots more if you want.

Me (sternly): Kaitlyn.  Don't you tell her that.  Isabelle's mommy said one more. If Isabelle's mommy says she can only have one, how many muffins can Isabelle eat?

Schatz (quietly): Three.

Me: Did you just say THREE!

Schatz:  Yes, Mommy.  She ate two and her mommy says she can have one.  That's three.

What'cha Gonna Do When They Come For You?

As a winner of the writing contest, my nephew Chase was allowed to ride on the Chamber of Commerce float. He wanted to wear his robber mask (re: ski mask) on the float. While walking with his dad and brothers...

Chase: Whew! That was close!
His Dad:  What do you mean?

Chase: We just walked past a cop! I could have been arrested for wearing my robber mask!

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Hand Me Downs

I borrowed some uniforms from Erin to see if they would fit Schatz for school next year. She's very excited about starting school.  After she had tried them on, she didn't want to take them off.

Me:  Take them off, sweetie.  I need to take them back to Miss Erin.

Schatz:  Aren't they mine?

Me: No, ma'am.  Those are Ryan's* uniforms.  I was just trying them on you to see if  they would fit.

Schatz (smelling the bottom of the shirt deeply): Oh, yes. They smell exactly like Ryan.

*author's note:  I told this story to Erin.  It turns out that they were Kalyee's uniforms.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Leeping Lizards

Schatz has become a subject matter expert at catching lizards.  Judy and her husband Linwood were dropping something off at the house this evening.  Schatz was showing off a bit and decided to catch a baby lizard by the front door to show Judy.  Schatz tends to be a little rough with these guys...two of them have dropped tail while she's handling them.  (Dropping tail is a natural defense with this species of lizard.)

Me:  Be careful. You'll kill him if you squeeze him too hard.

Schatz (insistently): I'm squeezing him gently!