It was just one ticket! I swear!

While riding with Roger; we passed a police car.

Mom (pointing it out as we pass): Look girls, there's a police car.

Maura: Is he going to pull us over?

Schatz: No, Daddy's driving. They only give Mommy tickets. She drives too fact.

Roger (tactfully) chokes down a laugh.

Touché

Schatz was hanging out on the couch with me this afternoon. I was knitting and she was watching The Land Before Time. When the movie was over, she picked another cartoon to watch in the Instant Queue.

Mom: What are we watching now?

Schatz (matter of factly): You know what? I don't really know. I can't read yet.

Easy Come, Easy Go, I Suppose...

Schatz found $10 on the ground at the playground the other day. She didn't tell me about it right away. She just put it in her purse and continued playing. She told me later about "the dollar" she found on the playground. No big deal. I figured that I'd wait until she forgot about it, then I'd put it in her piggy bank for safekeeping.

After her daddy got home:

Me: Schatz, show Daddy what you found at the park today.

Schatz: I can't Mommy.

Me: How come, Schatz?

Schatz: It flied away, Mommy.

Me: What do you mean?

Schatz (in a whimsical sort of way): I was playing with my dollar and I held it up like this (with both arms raised above her head) and it just flied away in the wind.

Mother's Day

Schatz: I know what we're going to do for Mother's Day.

Me: Are you allowed to tell me or is it a secret?

Schatz: I can tell you. We're going to get up super early and go buy you a card. Then we're going to buy you some donuts...with sprinkles. Then we are going to buy you flowers, too.

Me: I like flowers. What kind of flowers do you think you'll buy?

Schatz: I don't know. Probably ether roses or tulips...(pauses) or maybe dandelions. Those are really pretty, too.

Explaining Death

My girlfriend's cat just lost a litter of kittens. The first kitten was born dead. The second failed to thrive. The last kitten was doing great, but took a turn for the worst and didn't make it. I was dreading having to tell Kaitlyn about the last kitten. She's been waiting to hold the kitten until its eyes opened. Its eyes opened earlier this week.

Upon being given the somber news:

Schatz (patting my leg): It's okay, Mommy. Baby Jesus must have wanted to play with that kitten now that her eyes are open. It will be okay.

Alternate Answer

When posed with the following question:

Schatz: Santa Claus!

(Oh, yes. I gave her full credit.)

Ninjas at Night

Roger put Kaitlyn to bed tonight. After tucking her in to bed he ran downstairs. When he came back upstairs a few minutes later he noticed that Kaitlyn had stolen his iTouch. She was watching a movie in her bed.

Roger (confiscating the iTouch): You are sneaky...like a fox.

Schatz: No, Daddy, I'm sneaky like a ninja.