Meltdown

In the middle of a post sleepover meltdown (which ironically was not about blueberries) when her daddy made the tactical error of entering the room.

Schatz (taking exception to his presence): What are YOU doing in here?!? You don't even LIKE blueberries!!

Mad Guessing Skills

Schatz brought a pencil and a piece of computer paper into the kitchen and pulled up a stool at the counter.

Schatz:  How do you spell "dear"?

Me:  Which one?

Schatz:  "Dear Daddy"

Me: d-e-a-r

Schatz:  How do you spell "took"?

Me: t-o-o-k

Schatz:  How do you spell "water"?

Me:  w-a-t-e-r

Schatz:  How do you spell "bottle'?

Me: b-o-t-t-l-e

(silence)

Me: Schatz, you may not borrow your daddy's water bottle without his permission.

Schatz:  How did you guess?

Me: I'm a good guesser.  Here is your water bottle.  Take your water bottle instead of Daddy's.

Bathroom Humor

My sister was telling me the FUNNIEST story this afternoon on the phone.  She's been training kids to flush the toilet since the first day of potty training.  Her kids are 6 and 4.  She was cleaning up and Willow was in the bathroom doing something.

My sister:  I need you to flush the toilet, sweetie.

Willow (age 4):  It wasn't me!

My sister:  Okay. It wasn't you, but you were in here.  So if you see the toilet needs to be flushed then flush the toilet or else our house is going to smell yucky.

Willow:  I know, Mom.  That's why I turned on the fan.

Sweet Nothings and Absolute Loyalty

Maura left this note for her daddy to find while he was getting ready for work...