Manners Police

This morning I was throwing a baseball bat up in a tree to knock out a dog toy (don't ask). Lucy thought this was great fun. She was "fetching" the bat everytime it would fall and was running off with it.

So I would tell her in a deep, clipped tone, "Drop it!"

Schatz took offense, "No, 'Drop it' Mommy. Be nice a my doggie. Say, 'Please put that down, honey.'"

PCC's and PCI's

A girlfriend of mine used to be a swim instructor. A few weeks ago she offered to teach my oldest how to swim. Good times, since we've had two close calls because Maura thinks she can swim better than she actually can. So today was the first summer trip to the pool. I told Schatz we were going swimming as soon as her nap was finished.

Schatz: Does Henry have a soup?

Me: Yes, Henry has a swimming suit.

Schatz: Does Oliver have a soup?

Me: Yes, Oliver has a swimming suit?

Schatz: Does Edith have a soup?

Me: Yes, Edith has a swimming suit.

Schatz: Does Maura have a soup?

Me: Yes, Maura has a swimming suit.

Schatz: Does Lucy have a soup?

Me: No, Lucy doesn't have a swimming suit.

Schatz (hugging Lucy): Sorry, Lucy not swim today.

International Relations

Roger had a friend visiting from Austria. His name is Lukas. Lucy was being a little skittish with Lukas today. So Roger got out a tennis ball so that Lukas could make friends with our dog. Lukas tossed the ball very lightly. Schatz was apparently supervising the playtime.

Schatz (raising her voice): No, not like that! Like this!

She proceeded to grab the ball and gave Lukas a block of instruction by chucking the ball at him as hard as she could. Lukas throws the ball a little harder the second time. It bounces off the closet and rolls under the bed.

Schatz (hands on hips) yells: NO! No throw ball under bed. Lucy can't get!

Schatz wouldn't let Lukas play with her dog anymore. Lukas was pretty cool about it. After all, Austria is a neutral country.

Jumping on the Bed

Daddy worked very late last night. This morning I walked into the bedroom to find Schatz sitting on the bed next to Daddy, playing fetch with Lucy. Schatz was throwing the ball and Lucy was jumping onto the bed to bring the ball back to Schatz.

Mommy (pulling Lucy off the bed): Off the bed, girls. Let's go play in the living room.

Schatz: I'm playing with Lucy.

Mommy: I know, but Daddy is very tired. You can't play with Lucy on my bed.

Schatz (finger to her lips): BUT I'm not talking. I'm shhhh.

Bedside Manner

We were at the clinic today getting medicine for an ear infection when Schatz started playing with another little girl in the waiting room.

Schatz: This is my friend, Lila. She’s going to the doctor, too.

Me: Hi, Lila.

Schatz: Does Lila have an ear fection?

Lila’s Mommy: No, Lila doesn’t have an ear infection.

Schatz (to Lila, patting her arm): That’s okay, honey, maybe next time.