Explosives at Grandma's

While spending the night at Grandma's house, Heath* was trying his best to come up with a solid excuse NOT to go to sleep...

Heath (pointing at the heat vent):  But, Mom! There is a heater over here, I'm going to blow up! I told you! That ain't a good idea!

*Heath is my nephew.  He is five.

A Quiet Kid is Never a Good Sign

Willow* was being too quiet, so Grandma went to check on her.  She was at the bathroom sink.
 
Grandma: What are you doing?
 
Willow: Playing in the water, but I'm not wasting
power!**

* Willow is my niece, age 3.
**In my family, everyone is always telling our kids to turn off the lights so we don't waste the power (electricity).

Jailbird

Willow (age 3): I really miss my daddy.

 Willow's Mommy: Ok, lets call him.

 Willow (bursting into tears): I can't he's in jail!*

*My brother in law works for Elmore County, earlier in the day Willow and her Mommy had swung by his work to kiss him goodbye on the way to Grandma's house. They'd been told he was over at the jail doing some maintenance.

Keeper of Secrets...Not So Much

Schatz doesn't have school on Wednesdays for the whole first term. The Transition (Kindergarten) teacher visits each child at home once during the first term for some one on one time.  She plays with them, gets to know them, and will use her observations to tailor her lesson plans. This is a cool concept. The school was very specific...this is a play date.  It is not a parent teacher conference.  Don't bake any snacks.  Don't feel like you have to clean your house.  (yeah, right!)

Yesterday, Ms. S sent home a note letting us know she'd be stopping by for Schatz's play date this morning at 9:15.  So last night, after dinner, we did some extra tidying up.  I vacuumed and made sure the kids' bathroom was clean.  However, I ran out of time before I could clean the bathtub.  So after Schatz's bath I asked her to close the shower curtain to hide the messy bathtub.

This is the conversation I overheard from the kitchen this morning...

Schatz:  Can I show you my beautiful curtain?

Ms. S:  Sure.

Schatz:  Isn't this beautiful?  It has fish.  It's the ocean.  I'm going to the ocean with my cousin.  We're going to see dolphins and turtles and go snorkeling.

Ms. S:  You are!!  That sounds like fun.

Schatz:  And look.  This beautiful curtain (the shower curtain swooshes across the rod to reveal all the toys, shampoo bottles, sandy bottom, and a ring of dirt) also hides a messy bathtub when you are too busy to clean.

Six in One Hand And Some Nonsense About Half a Dozen

I'm an early riser.  I get a lot done before the kids get up.  This morning...Kaitlyn got up early with me and followed me from room to room chatting...

Schatz:  Will you at LEAST sleep in on Mother's Day...whenever that is?

Me:  Why Mother's Day?

Schatz: So that me and Dad can go buy you some yummy donuts for Mother's Day.  (beloved family tradition)

Me:  Okay.  I'll sleep in on Mother's Day, but will you do me a favor?

Schatz:  What?

Me:  This year will you buy me some yummy strawberries or mango or some fruit instead of  donuts?

Schatz:  Why would we do that?  No.  I think we'll stick with donuts.

Bless My Heart

I'd been starting a list (for something) earlier that day.  I got distracted and made a mistake.  So I tore that page out of my notebook and started a new list.  Later that afternoon...

Schatz (picking the paper up off the desk):  Oh, Mom.  Bless your heart.  Don't you know what comes after 5?

98H

Friday afternoon school pickup; interrupting a pleasant "How was your day" type conversation...

Schatz (frantically):  Where's my backpack?  I LOST it!

Me:  I put it in the trunk with Maura's backpack.

Schatz (starting to melt down): Don't PUT it there!  ARGH!  I don't LIKE it in the trunk!

Me:  If you do not want your backpack in the trunk, can you think of a better way to tell me? Preferably a way that you are NOT yelling at me?

Schatz (tapping on the top of the trunk): --- .--. . -.  - .... .  - .-. ..- -. -.-

Me (mimicking her tapping):  What is this?  .--. .- - .. . -. -.-. .

Schatz:  That's secret code for open the trunk.

Me:  Do you mean Morse code?

Schatz: Yes, Mom.  That's Morse code for "Please open the trunk, Please."

Me (opening the trunk):  Fair Enough