If at First You Don't Succeed...Wait a Few Days and Ask Again

Schatz:  Can I say "ship"?  It means a boat.

Dad (because we're on to her): It depends on how you say it.

Schatz:  Like "Oh, SHIP!"

Mom: Schatz, when you say, "oh, SHIP!" I know you really mean the bad word.

Schatz:  But it's not REALLY a bad word.  It means boat.

About an hour later...

Schatz: Daddy, Ship is not a bad word.  I can say, "SHIP!" when I'm mad.

Dad: No, you really can't.  I know you are really saying the bad word.

Schatz:  How do you know that?

Dad:  Because I know that you are really, REALLY smart....evil genius smart.  So don't say "SHIP!" anymore.

How Did That Old Saying Go?

We took the kids letterboxing today. They enjoyed the hike.  They enjoyed throwing the ball for the dog...and they even had a short race:

Schatz (calling to her sister):  First one there gets a ROTTEN EGG!!

S.A.S.S. (Sisters Against Selling Sisters)

It's been one of those days.  The girls have been picking on each other and pushing each others' buttons.  So I switched tactics.  Instead of punishing them, I started talking about how important sisters are:

Me:  You need to be nice to your sister, Schatz.  She is better than a best friend.  Your sister is always going to be important in your life.  And Maura is the only sister you are going to get.  Be nice to her.

Schatz:  Maura is not my friend.  Maura is my sister.

Me:  That's right, Maura is your sister and sisters are better than your best friend.

Schatz: And you can't sell her either.

Me: What?

Schatz:  You can't sell my sister.

At this point Maura is offended.  I'm speechless. Roger takes the lead.

Roger:  That's right.  You can't sell sisters.  Ice Cream anyone?

Going to a Drive In

We took the girls to their first Drive In movie last night.  To prepare, we stopped at the local Walgreens to pick up some snacks.  After leaving Walgreens

Schatz:  Can I have my candy now?

Maura:  No, we're saving it to eat during the movie.

Schatz:  I was not asking you.  I was asking the grownups.

Roger:  No.  We're saving it to eat during the movie.

Maura:  I told you.

Schatz (earnestly):  But I was asking the grownups.

Dad's Desk

We were looking for the Burt's Bees Bug Bite Stick one night.  Schatz had some itchy mosquito bites.

Schatz:  I saw it on Dad's desk.

I was a little confused so I asked for clarification.  Schatz showed me.

Mom's Desk:

Dad's Desk:

Independence Day

The girls knew we were going to a BBQ at the home of some very dear friends of ours.  Upon waking up this morning:

Schatz: Do you know what today is?  It's Regan and Riley Day!!

Friends

I've been DVRing Friends to watch with Maura.  This morning while I was folding laundry, I turned on an episode.

Maura (covering her eyes): Oh, oh, turn it off.  I can't watch this one.

Me (pressing pause): Why can't we watch this one.

Maura:  Dad and I watched eleven minutes of this last night.  He says I can't watch this episode.  It's inappropriate.  Can we watch the pilot instead?

Me: Did Dad say why it was inappropriate?

Maura:  Well, they talk too much about (pauses, looks around, then loudly whispers) S-E-X in this one.