Newly Crowned: Queen of Sheba

Schatz: Mooooooommmmm!

Me: What?

Schatz: I need your heeeellllp! (At our house, this translates to: Come wipe my bottom.)

I go into the bathroom.

Me: Schatz, you are going to be four soon. Four year olds are big girls and have to wipe their own bottoms.

Schatz: But it's gross.

Me: Yes. It is, but you'll survive it.

Schatz (ever the skeptic): Well, I'm going to need more paper than THAT.

I hand her more toilet paper and step out of the bathroom

Schatz (under her breath): You ALWAYS make me do EVERYTHING!